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AMAs: Hang On, Is Adam Lambert Gay?

You know what’s probably the sexiest awards show moment ever? When Madonna tongue-kissed Britney Spears that time. Remember that? Hoo boy, that was sexy. Two girls going at it full tilt – what could be sexier than that? But you know what’s probably the ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  24 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Adam Lambert,  Britney Spears,  Madonna,  Shirley Bassey,  Black Eyed Peas

SLACKERJACK – Yohoho Cannon

It’s a question we’ve been asking ourselves a lot lately – old-timey bearded pirate or modern-day Somalian pirate? It’s a difficult decision. One one hand, Somalian pirates have machine guns and both legs. But then again they don’t keep parrots or do ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  24 Nov 2009

Jennifer Lopez Fell On Her Gigantic Bum On Purpose, Honest

So if Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift were the big winners at the American Music Awards, who were the losers? Well, Jennifer Lopez fell on her bottom at one point. So that means the big loser at the AMAs was… no, not Jennifer Lopez. We were going to ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  24 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Jennifer Lopez,  Michael Jackson,  Taylor Swift,  Ryan Seacrest,  MTV

New Moon, Whatever That Is, Tops Weekend Box Office

Obviously when we saw New Moon, we mean The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Because that’s the film’s official title. Or we mean Omigod Omigod OMIGODDDD I TOTALLY JUST SAW EDWARD’S NIPPLES! SQUEEE! Because that’s what people who see the film are most likely ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Facebook Inc.,  Sandra Bullock,  Michael Jackson,  Robert Pattinson,  Kristen Stewart

Jon & Kate Gosselin Still Exist, Apparently

We’re thrilled to announce that this might just be the last thing we ever write about Jon and Kate Gosselin. The signs are certainly good. The last episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 is broadcast tonight. Jon and Kate Gosselin have thrashed out a ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Kate Gosselin,  Jon Gosselin

Quit Smoking! Be A Better Murderer!

One of the worst things about smoking – and this is true – is that it really impedes one’s ability to chase down strangers with chainsaws and brutally murder them. And this is a problem. So much so, in fact, that the European Commission has put ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009

Related Topics: European Commission

AMAs Throw Prizes At Taylor Swift & Michael Jackson

The American Music Awards – like the Grammys, but more likely to make you lose total faith in humanity – always surprise. And last night they surprised. The two biggest winners at last night’s AMAs were Taylor Swift (who wasn’t there) and Michael ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Michael Jackson,  Taylor Swift,  Black Eyed Peas,  Jermaine Jackson,  Janet Jackson

X Factor Recap: You Killed Jedward, You Monsters

Notice how the sun’s not shining quite as brightly today? Notice how everyone looks considerably more miserable today? It’s because Jedward were kicked off X Factor last night. And Lloyd wasn’t. Honestly, people are stupid. Anyway, last night’s X ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009

Related Topics: George Michael,  Simon Cowell,  Sammy Davis,  John Barrowman

Chris Brown Is A Really Excellent Binman

Chris Brown can’t change the past – if he could, he would have done a better job on Rihanna and then fled to Mexico. But he can change the future. And that’s Chris Brown’s prime directive right now. He doesn’t want to be known as the big-toothed singer ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  20 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Chris Brown,  Rihanna,  MTV,  Mark Geragos

John Kerry’s Daughter Busted For Glug Glug Vroom Vroom

Having watched the last season of 24, we’re fully aware that you can never trust a politician’s offspring. Statistically, they’re all quite likely to blow up Jon Voight, and that’s a fact. They’ll blow up Jon Voight and then they’ll make their mother, ...

From STUART HERITAGE, Heckler Spray,  20 Nov 2009

Related Topics: John Kerry,  Jon Voight,  Paris Hilton,  Al Gore,  Hulk Hogan

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