Articles Written by:    SLUT MACHINE     

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Somebody's Getting Mah-Reeeed! [Decision '08]

The jig is up. I'm getting hitched. I've been involved in a roller coaster whirlwind romance this summer, and after dating for a very brief time, I've decided to hang out with this guy until I die. My Pot Psychology partner Rich said to me, "Who are ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  8 Sep 2008
Related Topics: Mariah Carey

What Is A Slut? The Ladies Of The View Weigh In [View Askew]

Whereas many adults are all worried about "kids these days" and the supposed over-sexualization of our culture, I'm actually worried about this whole abstinence-only trend being touted by Wal-Mart, evangelical right-wingers, and all these promise-ring ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  8 Sep 2008
Related Topics: The View,  Elisabeth Hasselbeck,  Joy Behar

MTV VMAs: 70 Seconds Worth Watching [Shit Show]

God, the VMAs were beyond boring this year. Even the people in the live audience didn't want to be there. You know it's bad when Jamie Foxx has to come out on stage and literally tell people to wake up. I think the show's producers were hoping they'd ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  8 Sep 2008
Related Topics: Yahoo Serious (actor),  Russell Brand,  Jamie Foxx,  MTV

Spencer Fake Interrupts Heidi's Fake Work Day [Over The Hills]

The weirdest thing about The Hills is that it's never acknowledged that the people on it are actual celebrities now, and that they don't have normal lives with jobs, because their jobs are to appear on The Hills and the covers of magazines. We thought ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  8 Sep 2008
Related Topics: TiVo Inc.

"Why Are Lesbians Often Fatter Than Straight Women?" [Pot Psychology]

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich, the Piper to my Trig, helps me answer questions ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  5 Sep 2008

Donny Deutsch Says Sarah Palin Is The "Feminist Ideal" Because She Put A Skirt On [Deutschbags]

Donny Deutsch was on CNBC yesterday, running his mouth off about why Sarah Palin is so great. Spoiler alert: It has nothing to do with any of her accomplishments or credentials. Instead, the ad exec thinks that she's selling herself to the American ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  5 Sep 2008
Related Topics: Donny Deutsch,  Sarah Palin,  Tyra Banks

The Daily Show: Palin Is "Able To Make The Choice She Doesn't Really Want Other People To Have" [The Elephants In The Room]

The thing that's been bugging me about this whole Bristol Palin pregnancy issue is that I think that the Republicans are right: It's a private matter and the pundits and the politicians should stay out of it. In fact, the pundits and the politicians ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  5 Sep 2008
Related Topics: U.S. Republican Party,  Samantha Bee,  Sarah Palin

Check out this T-shirt, called "Office Manager." ... [Joan Holloway]

New York, 12:18 PM Fri Sep 5 50 posts in the last 24 hours RSS Breaking news and weekly top stories via email 1148 Subscribers Check out this T-shirt, called "Office Manager." It looks an awful lot like our favorite voluptuous, ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  5 Sep 2008

Rock Of Love's Heather Schools Us On The Business Of Reality TV [Dose Of Reality]

Heather Chadwell is perhaps best known as the 30-something stripper on Rock of Love, then later as the most recent player eliminated on I Love Money. When she's not filming reality shows, she earns extra cash "hosting" at bars around the country. VH1 ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  4 Sep 2008
Related Topics: VH1

We've been emailed by a few readers that ... [Hannah Upp]

We've been emailed by a few readers that a friend, a 23-year-old N.Y.C. school teacher named Hannah Upp, has been missing since August 29. She was planning to go away that weekend, but when she didn't show up for work on Monday, and her roommates ...

From SLUT MACHINE, Jezebel,  4 Sep 2008
Related Topics: Facebook Inc.

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