Articles Written by:    PAUL SORRENTI     

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Miley Cyrus’ Mum: ‘Oi! Miley, You Little Tweeny Slut, You’re Grounded!’

Miley Cyrus’ mother has grounded the little harlot for her incessant slutty behavior. The latest crime to add to the ever growing list is chatting online to boys and older men. What is the matter with the girl? Is she human or something? It all kicked ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Miley Cyrus,  Annie Leibovitz,  Britney Spears,  Paris Hilton,  Lindsay Lohan

Amy Winehouse’s Husband: I’m As Guilty As I Look - Completely

Amy Winehouse’s husband, or Blake Fielder-Civil as he’s also known, has changed his plea from not guilty to guilty. Fielder Civil, 26, has admitted on June 20, 2006, he did indeed assault James King. Obviously, it isn’t the James King who does those ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Amy Winehouse

Little Girl Pulled Screaming Out Of Jessica Alba’s Vagina

A little girl has been coaxed out of Jessica Alba’s vagina in what scientists are referring to as a ‘birth’. According to the scientists, who have conducted ‘research’, Jessica Alba had sex with her husband, Cash Warren, approximately nine months ago ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Jessica Alba

The Five Best Stand-Ups You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Mainstream comedians are fantastic, aren’t they? Of course they are, why else would they be on the telly? Dawn French, Lee Mack, Justin Lee Collins, Alan Carr… the list is endless. Just thinking about them makes us want to round up every TV executive ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Doug Stanhope,  John Hegley (musician),  Bill Hicks,  Mary Whitehouse,  Russell Brand

SLACKERJACK – Negotiator

We all want to be a hero, don’t we? We all want to save someone’s life and have our story in the news. ‘Hero Saves Man’ reads the headline. Next thing you know the mayor’s given you the key to the city and Michael Bay wants to make a biopic about you ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008

Sharon Osbourne: ‘Screw You ITV! I Squawk For The BBC Now’

In an act of betrayal not matched since the Italians turned their backs on the Nazis in World War Two, or when Sol Campbell moved to Arsenal from Tottenham on a free transfer in the cold, dark summer of 2001, Sharon Osbourne, who recently parted ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Sharon Osbourne,  Sol Campbell,  Arsenal Football Club

Stuart Heritage Is A Work-Shy Freeloader, So Say Hello To Paul Sorrenti, Ian Dransfield and Shawn Lindseth

This is weird. I’m not sure I’m very comfortable with writing in a first-person narrative anymore. You see, writing for hecklerspray this past six or seven months has made me lose all sense of individuality. The concept of ‘I’ is totally alien to me ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  9 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Paris Hilton,  Ricky Wilson

Race War! Race War! Spike Lee Vs Clint Eastwood. It’s On!

It all started when Spike Lee complained that there were no black soldiers in either of Clint Eastwood’s Oscar nominated war films; Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima. Spike was upset that the African American contingent didn’t seem to get ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  8 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Spike Lee,  Clint Eastwood,  Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan’s Toilet Love With Bobby Brown’s Son

Bobby Brown’s son Brandon Brown has revealed he was once seduced by Lindsay Lohan in a bathroom. It’s a typical (Bobby Brown-like) boy meets (Lindsay Lohan-like) girl story: They meet at a party. They both think ‘ooh, he/she’s fit’. Boy goes to the ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  8 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Paris Hilton Isn’t Pregnant. Jurassic Park!

It’s a scary time to be alive. Everywhere you look there are people dying, mothers crying, politicians lying and girlfriends prying. We are told that global warming is going to drown us, or that international terrorism is going to blow us up, or that ...

From PAUL SORRENTI, Heckler Spray,  8 Jun 2008
Related Topics: Paris Hilton,  MTV

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