Articles Written by:    MATTHEW LAIDLOW     

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Michael Jackson Lives! Inside A Pregnant Woman From Sunderland!

That Michael Jackson, what a character. He barely went five minutes without getting into some sort of hilarious situation. If he wasn’t buying all sorts of ridiculous crap that he couldn’t afford, he was probably skidding around in monkey poo. People ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  23 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Michael Jackson,  Greggs P.L.C.,  Falcon Heene

MySpace Trawl – Silent Devices

Certain cities have various scenes that have been established over time. For bands that get involved, it’s all fine and dandy for them. Look no further than Oasis and The Smiths from Manchester who set the bar for others to follow. But then again, not ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  20 Nov 2009
Related Topics: The Smiths,  Kasabian (musician),  Mogwai (musician)

Morrissey Declares War On Hamburgers In Hamburg

Jesus, we know when we’re being outdone. Most of the time, it’s when an unborn Japanese child severely beats us on FIFA. And we don’t mean by using the hand of God in extra time. And then there’s Morrissey. Somehow, Morrissey is classed as a genius ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  20 Nov 2009
Related Topics: FIFA

EastEnders Wants You To Remix Its Ageing Theme Tune

In every episode of EastEnders, you can be guaranteed of a few things. For a start, you’ll never sit through the full 30 minutes without hearing an ear-piercing screech or cackle. Peggy’s bra will have pinged off and blinded a child like in her Carry ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  19 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Brian May

MySpace Trawl – Bibio

With 2009 kicking and screaming to a close, many magazines and other publications often spit out their best-of lists. Usually it’s the opinion of one person sat in an office. Most of the time, people with any sense flick past them as they don’t need ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  13 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Warp Records

Joe Jackson Needs Some Pocket Money From His Dead Son

Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them. From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we’ve all been there. Well that’s unless you’re a ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  9 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Joe Jackson,  Michael Jackson,  BBC

Watch Morrissey Get Smacked In The Head With A Cup

Everyone knows Morrissey. He’s that loveable vegan from Manchester who complains about everything and then goes in to a big vegetable huff when things go pear-shaped. Only a couple of weeks ago, he collapsed at a gig in Swindon. Perhaps he saw what ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  9 Nov 2009

MySpace Trawl – One Little Plane

Yee-haw kids, its reality pop star season, so what does that mean? It means that anyone who’s got an ounce of talent in their blood is going to get ignored. Money-making mass-produced rubbish will take over and make us all believe it’s the best thing ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  6 Nov 2009

Jordan To Be Burnt Instead Of Guy Fawkes In Kent

Do you live in Kent? We don’t. Why? Well let’s put it this way, it doesn’t quite have the glamour of New York or the history of Rome. All is boasts is a Primark and KFC – just like everywhere else. If only Kent could offer us something amazing. ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  5 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Guy Fawkes,  Glamour,  Jonathan Ross,  Russell Brand

The Spice Girls To Disappointingly Open 2012 Olympics

When London was announced as the host city for the 2012 Olympics, many concerns immediately started swirling around our heads. Chief of which was how ready the city would be. Frankly, we need to see a constructed swimming pool filled with water so the ...

From MATTHEW LAIDLOW, Heckler Spray,  2 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Spice Girls,  Michael Phelps,  Wikipedia,  The Beatles,  Freddie Mercury

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