Articles Written by:    DAVID THORPE     

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The end that could have been

For a few wonderful days, it seemed that Aerosmith were finally kaput. After decades of age-inappropriate sex-guy posturing, it appeared Steven Tyler was finally gonna do the right thing — he cut off contact with his bandmates, and Joe Perry announced ...

From DAVID THORPE, The Phoenix,  18 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Aerosmith (musician),  Steven Tyler,  Alicia Silverstone,  Limp Bizkit (musician),  Linkin Park

Front Page News: The Time Tooth Tooth Tasted Swine: Part 1

You heard about Tooth Tooth lately, god? Some crazy shit, man. Been hearing some rumors, god, but ain't believed a word of it. I'm sure folks been telling you about how Tooth Tooth tasted the unclean meats of a swine and was corrupted. Yeah, kid, ...

From DR. DAVID THORPE, Something Awful,  17 Nov 2009

The Big Hurt: Another Brown bagged

IAN BROWN: lady hitter? The former Stone Roses singer was recently arrested in his London home, after his wife reported that he'd assaulted her. This isn't Brown's first brush with the law; he was in prison for four months in the late '90s for menacing ...

From DAVID THORPE, The Phoenix,  11 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Microsoft Corporation,  Noel Gallagher,  Linkin Park,  Ian Brown,  MTV

The Big Hurt: Liam alone

Everyone figured that Noel Gallagher would go solo — it’s been hinted at for years — but the break-up of Oasis has made it a grim inevitability. Liam, however, is in a tougher spot. Whereas guitarist Noel is a self-contained unit, singer Liam has ...

From DAVID THORPE, Boston Phoenix,  4 Nov 2009
Related Topics: Noel Gallagher,  Andy Bell,  Jarvis Cocker,  Pulp (musician),  Longpigs (musician)

Front Page News: District Bulletin: God Elections

District occupant, your superiors require the mercy of your belief: believe you, oh please, that ordinarily we do not concern and baffle ourselves with the terrible boasts of Dorroile, the worst man. When he boasted that his awful dancing could curdle ...

From DR. DAVID THORPE, Something Awful,  3 Nov 2009

The Big Hurt: Release yo’ delf

The week in horrendous press releases Every slow pop week has a silver lining: it’s a great chance to catch up on the thrilling world of useless press releases. SINGER LISBETH SCOTT RELEASES INNOVATIVE PHOTO CAMPAIGN “HOPE IS A THING” | This lady’s ...

From DAVID THORPE, The Phoenix,  21 Oct 2009
Related Topics: Yahoo!,  Aqua (musician),  Jewel,  Kanye West,  Michael Jackson

The Big Hurt: A healthy death

Music news in brief A member of the recently reunited BACKSTREET BOYS — the really Christian one who looks like the Beast from that 1980s Beauty and the Beast TV show — has swine flu. That doesn't even come close to being sufficient punishment for ...

From DAVID THORPE, Boston Phoenix,  13 Oct 2009
Related Topics: MTV,  NSYNC (musician),  50 Cent,  Fat Joe,  Barack Obama

The Big Hurt: Think of England

Although we like to think of ourselves as having an ironclad hegemony over the pop of the Western world, those plucky Brits like to rise from their misty bog and tweak our nipples with a pond-crossing chart smash once in a while. And though the rate ...

From DAVID THORPE, The Phoenix,  6 Oct 2009
Related Topics: Ludacris

Front Page News: The Truth about Josh "Livestock" Boruff

To regular readers of this site, Joshua "Livestock" Boruff is a familiar byline; you've probably seen it on dozens of your favorite columns on fur trapping, mars colonization and dogblogging. What's less familiar, however, is the substance of the man. ...

From DR. DAVID THORPE, Something Awful,  6 Oct 2009
Related Topics: Antonio Gramsci,  Stephen Hawking

The Big Hurt: Season's bleatings

Plus unholy names and office shredders One of the great things about being in the music industry is that you get to change your name. If you got stuck with something dorky like Reginald Dwight or Robert Van Winkle, you can come up with some catchy ...

From DAVID THORPE, The Phoenix,  28 Sep 2009
Related Topics: Marvin Gaye,  Keith Richards,  Elton John,  Vanilla Ice,  Jimi Hendrix

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