« Previous  |  Next »

Andy Borowitz: Facing Criticism, Goldman Sachs Cancels Plan to Dance Around Bonfire of Thousand-dollar Bills

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Facing mounting criticism from the public and the media, Goldman Sachs announced today that they would cancel plans to dance around a bonfire of thousand-dollar bills. The company had planned to perform a pagan dance ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  22 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Goldman Sachs,  Andy Borowitz,  Lloyd Blankfein,  Jackie Speier,  U.S. Democratic Party

Andy Borowitz: Inspired By Oprah, Homeless Guy Ends 25 Years of Shouting at Passersby

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - A homeless man who began shouting at New Yorkers in 1985 said that Oprah Winfrey was the inspiration behind his decision to call it quits in early 2010. "I've had a good run," said Tracy Klugian, who has barked non ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  21 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Andy Borowitz,  Oprah Winfrey

Andy Borowitz: Lieberman Exploring New Ways to Be a Dick

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - As the healthcare reform bill makes its way through the U.S. Senate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) said today that he was "actively exploring" new ways to be as big a dick as humanly possible. For Sen. Lieberman, ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  20 Nov 2009

Related Topics: U.S. Senate,  Andy Borowitz,  Joe Lieberman

Andy Borowitz: New Word: Republizombie

Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to All comments on this article are pre-moderated. This means that every comment ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  17 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz: Detainees Moved to DMV; Could Be Held There 'Indefinitely'

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In a plan that would solve the thorny problem of where to transfer the detainees currently held at Guantanamo, Attorney General Eric Holder said today that the enemy combatants would be transferred immediately to a ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  17 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Andy Borowitz,  Department of Motor Vehicles,  Eric Holder,  Sarah Palin

Andy Borowitz: Palin Looking Forward to Reading Her Book

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Amid the publicity blitz for her new book, Going Rogue, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said today that "she was looking forward to reading it, big time." Gov. Palin said that the book caught her interest as she was ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  15 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Andy Borowitz,  Sarah Palin,  Carrie Prejean

Andy Borowitz: US, China in Race to Pollute Water on Moon

BEIJING (The Borowitz Report) - Hours after scientists confirmed finding evidence of water on the moon, the United States and China each announced ambitious plans to become the first nation to pollute the moon's water. Both space programs argued that ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  14 Nov 2009

Related Topics: NASA,  Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz: Carrie Prejean Storms Off Own Sex Tape; Calls Vibrator's Behavior 'Inappropriate'

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - One day after clashing with CNN host Larry King, former Miss California Carrie Prejean showed another flash of anger today, storming off the set of her own sex tape. While it is unclear what precisely set Ms. Prejean ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  12 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Larry King,  Carrie Prejean,  Andy Borowitz,  The View

Andy Borowitz: Lou Dobbs Returns to His Planet; 'My Work Here is Done'

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Controversial CNN host Lou Dobbs bade the people of Earth farewell today as he embarked on a long voyage back to his planet of origin. Standing on a launching pad with his rocket ship at the ready, Mr. Dobbs addressed a ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  11 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Lou Dobbs,  Andy Borowitz,  Ted Turner,  Soledad O'Brien

Andy Borowitz: Carrie Prejean's Vibrator Signs Book Deal

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - In a move that took many in the publishing industry by surprise, the vibrator of former Miss California Carrie Prejean signed a deal today to write a tell-all memoir. The book, tentatively titled Still Buzzing, will ...

From ANDY BOROWITZ, Huffington Post,  11 Nov 2009

Related Topics: Andy Borowitz

« Previous  |  Next »

Who is This?

Help us add to our database, by linking this writer their entry in Wikipedia or Source Watch, or by suggesting that we remove it from our index.

Suggest an Entry